So for the past few weeks I’ve been searching for part of my Mother’s Day / Mother’s Birthday gift – A GARDEN GNOME. You have to really understand the family to fully grasp the enormity and comical impact of this gift.
You would think that finding such an integral piece of gardening supplies would be an easy task. Not so. I spent over four hours today driving around Dallas searching for the perfect gnome. One by one, I hit up each location in Dallas suspected of having said gnome, and one by one, I was disappointed. I tried Lowes, Home Depot, Target, Wal-Mart, Big Lots, and Calloway’s Nursery. No one had a garden gnome.
Seriously, it wasn’t like I was looking for the rarest, most expensive and exotic substance on earth, I was looking for a freaking garden gnome. Finally, on the suggestion of a friend (thanks Les) I tried Jackson’s Home and Garden on Lemmon across from Love Field Airport. Might I just add that place is amazing! They had the most unique and cool things for sale, and get this, they even serve fresh baked cookies and punch to everyone in the store. Though, since we are in the height of the Swine Flu epidemic I declined the cookie and punch for fear of contracting the pig flu.
Anyway…I asked the concierge (yes, they really do have a concierge) if they carried gnomes. Eureka! They do! I was so excited and ready to pack that bitch up and leave. So I cruise on over to isle 3, and there they are, 50+ different styles of garden gnomes, each with a distinctive facial expression. One problem, the smallest gnome they had was $ 369.99! No lie. Needless to say, I had to pass. I love my Mother, but $369.99 is ridiculous.
The search continues…
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