Holidays on a budget...

So I’ve got six nieces and nephews, two girls, four boys and like any good uncle I try to spoil them. Now, I know they don’t really need anything, but with each passing holiday I try to see that they get some small something. One problem, whatever I buy is times six, which gets a little expensive. Easter Basket = $12, 6 Easter Baskets = $72; Box of Valentines Chocolates = $9.99, 6 Boxes of Valentines Chocolates = $59.94; it adds up quick and we won’t even touch Christmas... Well this year I got smart, after all - we are in a recession. So while shopping at Target this weekend I saw a piñata and instantly saw something the kids would love that would save me money. So I grabbed it along with some candy. I need to pick up a couple more bags of candy and some trinkets (spider rings, mini-flashlights, pencils, plastic figurines, etc.) and I’ll be set. Check it out, isn’t it ‘Bootiful?’ Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Piñata - $9.99
Candy - $20.00
Trinkets $15.00
Happy Nieces & Nephews - Priceless

For the love of DILL!

You’ve all read how much I like pickles. Well, I just wanted to make sure that everyone knows just to what extent. After tonight, I think I might honestly have a problem, a real big one. In fact somebody might want to call the Betty Ford Center and reserve a room for me. I was cleaning up the kitchen tonight when I opened the refrigerator door to get a drink and there they were, all seven of them; seven jars of pickles in my refrigerator! Now, I know what you’re saying, “why would you/anyone need seven jars of pickles?” And the answer isn’t entirely clear, but I like pickles, what can I say? Also, if you look closely, there are in fact only two jars of the same type of pickles; there’s two different brands of five different varieties available at ‘casa de Juan.’ One of my favorite snacks, which I admit sounds horrific, is baby dills and ranch. Now, I wasn't always a believer in this heavenly snack, but luckily I am…thanks to the phenomenal powers of persuasion of my friend Les.

Just say no...to vaccines!

As many of you know, I am pretty eccentric, actually, that might be a huge understatement, but none the less – it’s just who I am. In keeping with my quirky personality I want to let everyone know how I feel about vaccinations. For the purpose of this blog post I am going to focus on the new H1N1 (Swine-Flu) vaccine currently on the market. Now, before I get a ton of crazy comments, know that I feel some vaccinations are okay, Tetanus, Measles – Mumps – Rubella, Polio, etc – and I fully support those in children and young adults. Hypocritical, maybe, I don’t know, I don’t care. They have done a great job in all but eradicating those diseases. However, I have a real issue with the Flu, Pneumonia, and H1N1 vaccines currently in use. I do not and will not take any of the above vaccines. I do not like the idea of injecting either an attenuated (live, but weakened), killed, or Toxoid (inactive version of toxic compound) substance into my body. One of the nasal vaccines, FluMist, actually contains the live (supposedly weakened) flu virus. Did you know there are actually documented cases where the healthcare professional who administered the nasal spray to patient actually contracted the flu? Now, is that something you really want to snort up your nose? I think I'd rather take my chances with coke - thank you very much. J/K LOL And, I don’t care what they say about the flu shot – I worked with someone who took the attenuated vaccine, the shot, and they got the flu as a result; so yes, CDC, it can happen. I actually ran across an article yesterday that said “There is some evidence that flu shots cause Alzheimer’s disease. This most likely is a result of combining mercury with aluminum and formaldehyde, which renders them much more toxic together through a synergistic effect than each would be alone.” Seriously! No way and I taking it, and I wish I could prevent my family from it as well.

As I mentioned before I have real ‘beef’ with the H1N1 vaccine that is currently on the market. Did you know that the H1N1 vaccine was developed in less than one year? Yes, you read that correctly, less than one year. How long do you think that it actually takes for us to figure out the side-effects of a so called vaccine? I know of many prescription drugs, which actually underwent prolonged scrutiny (5-7+ years) by the FDA and eventually made it to market, only to be pulled because of serious, often lethal issues associated with the drug(s). Vioxx, Phenphen, Accutane, (which I myself took three treatments of) et al.

Now, back to the H1N1 vaccine which was developed in less than a year, and is currently on the market… How can we possibly know that it’s safe? Did you know that many countries, and I’m not talking ‘third world’ here have actually banned the H1N1 vaccine from certain pharmaceutical companies because they are unsafe, or because the side-effects of the vaccine aren’t fully known; but, do you really want to chance it?

Is it worth it? I personally think I would rather run the risk of contracting the virus and then allowing my body to fight it off, naturally, and safely. Plus I could burn some sick time. Just kidding… Like I said, this is just my opinion. If you want the shot – go for it, but proceed with caution. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Hey Obama! Get your ass off the television and start running this bitch. Every time I look on TV your there, well every where BUT the White House.

Donnie Osmond = Annoying

Okay, I just want to tell the world how annoying Donnie Osmond is to me. He is so freaking annoying, I use to like DWTS, key words in that sentence...use to. He is just so - ugh, I don't know, annoying. Maybe he'll be the first one to get kicked off DWTS, but with my luck, his Ken-doll plastic hair, too bright white teeth will pull a Marie Osmond (equally annoying) drama stunt and pass out during the show which will keep him in the media and on the show. Come to think about it...there's not really any Osmond's that I like...

A weekend wasted isn’t a wasted weekend

I actually got off work early Friday night, as it was my early day. I didn’t squander the opportunity to leave early; as soon as my work was done and I was able to hit the door – I did. I had to drop my car off for some maintenance and then I came home. Friday night was a quite one, spent at home watching a movie (P.S. I LOVE YOU) and lying around with the dog.

Saturday I was up and out early to visit my boss/friend who just had a baby, both are doing well. From the hospital I went to the mall for a quick coiffing. Later Saturday night B and I went out…in rare form. We started out at the Loon then moved to Madison, only to wind up having an altercation with the Jack In the Box worker before heading back to the house from a wonderful, fun-filled night.

And finally, the Sunday ritual, heading out to my parents house for Sunday lunch. Although, one of my sisters wasn’t there, my nephew is sick with the flu. Let’s hope he kicks it soon. For lunch my mother made one of my favorites, Chicken Enchiladas. They were delicious! In fact, I’m actually taking some leftovers to work tomorrow for my lunch. From there it was back to Dallas, I had a ton of laundry to get done. I got my laundry done, lunch packed, house in order and dog bathed.

Now I’m just sitting here watching the Cowboys. I wish that Romo would get his head back in the game. I’m wondering what this week has in store for me? Will it be good/bad? We shall see, though, I keep thinking of a particular bible verse that says “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” So, with that being said, I look forward to the upcoming week and whatever it has in store (hoping it’s good though).

Okay!?!?! 17 minutes into the new Jay Leno, Primetime show and I'm not really feeling it. Singing car wash - no. Let's HOPE it only gets better from here.

The weekend in review...

Why I hate Kanye West!
Every year the MTV VMAs have some jaw-dropping moment, case in point – the Britney, Christina & Madonna kiss, Britney Spears w/giant boa constrictor, Little Kim’s sticker over her boob, Britney forgetting the words to Gimme More et al, but I think this year Kayne’s uncouth, disrespectful, bad-mannered, and ghetto behavior takes the cake. If you are not familiar with said incident, Taylor Swift had just won her award for best female video winner, when Kayne West bum rushed the stage and took the microphone from Taylor proclaiming that Beyonce should have won because her video was better. Now, those of you who know me know that I am not really a Taylor Swift fan and that I actually do like Kanye West; but, his behavior was uncalled for and totally disrespected Taylor Swift. The look on her face was mortifying after the incident, I really felt horrible for her. We all know that Kayne west hates white people, but his most recent stunt just solidified that notion. From this point forward Kayne is dead to me, I am officially boycotting him, his music, and whatever else he is a part of. So wrong. I will say that Beyonce handled the situation in a very gracious and classy manner allowing Taylor to use her acceptance speech time to ‘have her moment’ so to speak. If you didn’t see it live you can see it here. (Sorry, embedding was disabled)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z8gCZ7zpsQ


Sports, Sports, and more Sports…

Notre Dame vs. Michigan
What a great game, since it was raining outside most of this weekend I really didn’t have a chance to get out other than to buy groceries and run to the bank. So I spent most of Saturday watching football, and this was a great game. Let me just say Tate Forcier really won that game. Awesome kid, jealous I wasn’t born with skills like that. Let’s hope that he’s still around when he finishes school – I think the Cowboys could really use that kind of talent.

U.S. OPEN 2009
Gotta love that Serena Williams… Did anyone else happen to watch her on-screen meltdown during the last match between her and Kim Clijsters during the U.S. OPEN? Well I did, and let me just say how interesting/entertaining it was. Serena went after the linesman with a profanity laced tirade for a bogus foot fault call, not once, not twice, but three times – keep in mind this was after she had already been assessed a point for racket abuse. I watched the entire match and I can honestly say that Serena did not have a foot fault, even on the replays the commentators agreed that no code violation occurred, not too sure what that lineswoman was thinking when she made that call. I will admit, there is a certain amount of decorum that needs to be maintained on the court and Serena certainly failed to maintain it, but, I mean, can you blame her? Serena may not have lost that match had the lineswoman not called the bogus foot fault; I think she would have, but still, no one knows for sure. I guess Serena was just really channeling her inner John McEnroe that night. I feel for her, but I also feel for Kim Clijsters. This win really has to be bittersweet, I think Kim would have won anyway, but you know she couldn’t enjoy this win to the fullest because it was tainted with such drama. At least Serena did walk over and congratulate her after the meltdown.

Dallas Cowboys!
Let’s hope that the season opener was just a foretaste of what is to come this season. I really do want them to go all the way, I mean, after all they are America’s team, but sometimes I just think that don’t want it bad enough. I’m going to try and stay positive this year and think good thoughts – I might just be surprised.

Labor Day Pangs

I had a great Labor Day holiday with the family, but I am glad to be back home, in my own bed and familiar surroundings. This Labor Day was pretty laid back…nothing too extreme. Drove out to the parentals house on Sunday and socialized with the family, then on to my Grandmothers house to help my Dad install a new ceiling fan, and then we finished off the night with some wings. On a humorous note – my father has been working outside with pieces of sheet metal which have cut him numerous times on his hands and arms; where’s the humor in that…right?!? Well it’s the fact that my father had to wear a latex glove on his left hand in order to keep the hot wing sauce out of the cut on his thumb. It was quite humorous, if you were there, it was like I was dining next to a Michael Jackson wing eating fool. It was a lot funnier had you been there like I was. On to Labor Day [Monday] we grilled out hamburgers and hot dogs and visited with family. Knowing that I had to come to work Tuesday I opted to leave early and head back to Dallas. I had to fit in laundry, cleaning, errands and a workout in the few hours I had left. I was very proud of myself for getting everything including a 55 (yes, fifty-five) minute workout in during the short time I had left Monday afternoon. And, let me just say I am paying for that workout today. Yesterday, I could barely climb the stairs or garner the strength to lift my legs over the side of the shower. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.

Oh and a little gossip for those of you who live near me: the Cityplace Target is currently undergoing a remodel in order to begin selling a full array of groceries. I was speaking with an employee there who was telling me that they were going to be a new ‘hybrid’ concept store which will ultimately wind up somewhere in between a Super Target & an Urban Target Store. I can’t wait, now, my checking account on the other hand…

Preferred nomenclature...

This is one of my weirder or more quirky posts…but I've promised this post to a couple of peeps at work. F & M – enjoy. Below is a list of my favorite words, their meaning and suggested usage per the “John Johnson Style & Usage Dictionary.” I actually finished it a couple of days ago and never got around to posting it, so today’s your lucky day, two posts in one day. More to come later because my laptop is going dead...enjoy.

Ex Post Facto – Latin which translates literally to “after the fact”
Thanks for telling me I was supposed to turn on that street two blocks ago. You’re a really good navigator…even if your directions are ex post facto.

Űber – a superlative example of its kind or class
Űber seems to be the word de jour, use it freely.

Vitriolic – bitter, scathing, or caustic
Many of my co-workers have such vitriolic personalities…

Misnomer - A name wrongly or unsuitably applied to a person or an object
To say that he’s intelligent is a bit of misnomer.

Naff - unstylish, clichéd, or outmoded
A lot of people in Dallas have a naff fashion sense.

Ad Nauseam - Latin which translates literally to “to the point of disgust”
I wish she would stop talking, we’ve heard about how great she is ad nauseam.

Xenophobe, no – Germaphobe, yes

I don’t know if it’s that I’m getting older, or becoming paranoid from all the media hype with the H1N1, or if I’m just starting to have serious mental issues; but, I’m getting to be a serious germaphobe, or mysophobic to be medically correct. Now I know, everyone should be conscious of germs and take an active role in eliminating them, but it’s getting to the point where it’s starting to affect my life. I mean I have serious issues with sharing anything especially things that come into contact with me and anyone else; phones, door knobs, elevator buttons, public restrooms et al. I try my very best to avoid public restrooms, but, as you know, there are times that you cannot avoid using them. When such occasions arise I find myself doing a very carefully orchestrated routine. I cannot/will not touch any handle in the restroom – I use my foot, and I cannot/will not touch the faucets in the restroom – I get two sets of paper towels prior to hand washing (One to turn on & off the faucet & one to dry my hands) then I get another paper towel to open the door, and never never touch the door handle. At work I think I single handedly keep the Purell Corporation in business via continued overzealous use of their antibacterial product. Even out at restaurants, if I think too much about someone else having the same utensil in their mouth I get really freaked out and can’t continue eating. I always use my napkin to wipe them off, but sometimes my fears get the best of me. When cooking any type of raw meat I refuse to touch it, instead I wear latex gloves when handling it. I use Clorox wipes everyday on my kitchen and bathroom counter. And lastly, I have a problem with washing my hands too many times a day, which paradoxically makes you more prone to infection – go figure. I just don’t know what’s going on here lately, I wasn’t like this when I was little, I could/did share drinks with people. I guess I’ve just become really paranoid with my old age. If this continues I’m going to need professional help or before you know it I’ll be the next Howie Mandell minus that dumb ass facial hair on his bottom lip.

Oh, and eating food that was prepared by someone else, that I don’t know, or haven’t seen their house/kitchen – totally off limits.